Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008
|
|
6:34 pm - Motherfucking Typical
|
Oh Wedding How I Hate Thee!
I had a dress all picked out but upon reflection I realized I looked like a fat cow in it. Not a problem I have several other dresses ONLY this is my sister's wedding and I have to wear black. Black, you query? But Angela that's an easy color to find. Oh oh oh contraire mon frere, not if you are a largely proportioned female (read: FAT) then it becomes impossible. You can't just show up at the Black and White store and expect to have a size 16 in a flattering cut, no no no no no. That would be asking too much. You have overnight a few dresses from catalogs, try them on and realize that none of them work. Then you have to wear the one you already have on Saturday which you know you look dumpy in whilst listening to your size 6 sister complain about how fat she looks and how she doesn't want to be in pictures. Oh good times.
Not that I don't already feel like an ugly loser what with not getting the LAST job in my field and being terrified of not getting in to graduate school and living in my parents basement and being generally everything I feared I would become and oh, almost 30. Great, motherfucking great.
current mood:  Fat
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Monday, June 2nd, 2008
|
|
11:48 am
|
So I'm back in SLC and my family is already driving me around the bend. Why? Because no one fucking cleans! Jesus! Right now BOTH of my sisters are napping. I cleaned the kitchen. I organized the books (they just got the floors re-done so it is practically like they moved out) . . . I'm going to go clean the master bathroom. Fuck these dipwads.
Granted my sister Sarah was up early with her child . . . who, by the by, says Elmo more than any other word. But still, people.
And also, they bought all these dietary supplements that were expensive and NOBODY is using.
The dog has to go in the play pen.
I'm still happy not to be in NYC anymore. I just conveniently forgot that my family is insane . . . albeit hilarious. You know, like a Wes Anderson movie.
current mood:  irritated
|
|
(3 comments | comment on this)
|
|
Saturday, May 10th, 2008
|
|
3:19 pm - My New Blog
|
|
|
Tuesday, May 6th, 2008
|
|
11:45 am - Bad Boys Schmad Boys
|
Seriously people, this made me choke on my bubble tea.
There are so many things wrong with this article that I honestly do not know where to begin.
No, I do. The picture. That little Asian fellow is not Bad, he's Gay. Maybe he's a gay bad boy. The point is, if you are a woman you shouldn't be dating gay men. Especially if you are looking for a serious relationship.
I'm really rather offended by this article in all honesty. I mean, I find it rather reductionist to classify all men as either the Marrying Kind or Bad Boys. Has it ever occured to the straight girls of the world (as ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) syducingfatewould say) that perhaps it isn't that the man in question isn't interested in relationships ever, for all time, into eternity etc. but that rather he is not interested in having a relationship with you. Because let's face it, girl, you are only with him because you want the validation of being in a relationship with a man that other women crave. You don't actually love him. You nag him and whine at him. You don't talk to him or regard him as an equal. He is marriage material; a means to an end.
The other thing implicit in this article is that if you are a woman and you want to have a relationship you have to go about it in the same way you would shop for a house. You browse through, checking the plumbing, for termites, for structural problems. Even if you fall in love with the house/man if he's not in your price range you'd best settle for the one that is. Settle for less, a mantra for our times.
I'd also like to point out that the way you tame a bad boy is the way you tame anyone else: by withholding approval. Yes, you too can be the most popular person on the block merely by never being available and regarding everyone you meet with thinly veiled, yet superficially friendly, contempt. The more you hate the more they will crave your good opinion.
Stupid article.
current mood: cynical
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
|
Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008
|
|
2:07 pm - It's Official!!!
|
|
I have resigned my position. I shall be back in SLC by the end of May. Huzzah and Hurrah!
current mood:  cheerful
|
|
(7 comments | comment on this)
|
|
Wednesday, April 16th, 2008
|
|
3:36 pm - It is time to take a stand . . .
|
|
against series. Yes, friends, I have come to the conclusion that the Series is a concept antithetical to good storytelling because:
1. They never end and when they do it is because everyone has becoming brutally disappointed with them
2. The characters end up being caricatures of themselves
3. All plots are exhausted.
4. The author goes crazy (see Rice, Anne for at least one example of that.)
Therefore I have decided to start a society. The Anti-Series Society or maybe The Society for the Promotion of Endings. I'm not sure which yet. (Suggestions encouraged).
I urge you to join so that we may endeavor to prevent the inhumanity, the utter depravity, the suffering of another Fifth Season that introduces us to a plucky younger character that is merely Scrappy Doo in disguise.
Friends, we cannot let these travesties continue. In this vein, I'm also thinking of starting The Society for the Promotion of Pronouncable Names which seeks to stop all sci-fiction and fantasy writers who insist on giving their characters names you stumble over constantly. It breaks the narrative flow people!
current mood: Industrious
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
|
Thursday, April 10th, 2008
|
|
4:17 pm - The Public Library is a Fucked Up Place
|
So today as I was processing the reserve books, what do I find but this:
I laughed for ten minutes.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
|
Tuesday, March 4th, 2008
|
|
6:41 pm - Fucked Over
|
|
|
Thursday, February 7th, 2008
|
|
11:10 pm - Brought to you by StumbleUpon
|
|
|
Friday, February 1st, 2008
|
|
7:45 pm - Doo Hickey
|
Stolen Unconscionably From fop
1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?2) What was your dream growing up? 3) What talent do you wish you had? 4) If I bought you a drink what would it be? 5) Favorite vegetable? 6) What was the last book you read? 7) What zodiac sign are you? 8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where. 9) Worst Habit? 10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? 11) What is your favorite sport? 12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude? 13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? 14) Worst thing to ever happen to you? 15) Tell me one weird fact about you. 16) Do you have any pets? 17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? 18) What was your first impression of me? 19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? 20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? 21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? 22) What color eyes do you have? 23) Ever been arrested? 24) Bottle or can soda? 25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? 27) What's your favorite place to hang at? 28) Do you believe in ghosts? 29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? 30) Do you swear a lot? 31) Biggest pet peeve? 32) In one word, how would you describe yourself? 33) Do you believe/appreciate romance? 34) If you could live anywhere in the world where would you chose? 35) Do you believe in God? 36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
|
Tuesday, October 9th, 2007
|
|
2:41 pm - Dude, seriously
|
|
|
Thursday, October 4th, 2007
|
|
9:21 am - Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy
|
|
I would like to announce that I have just been offered a job with the Queens Public Library, with HEALTH BENEFITS, and enought money per year that every once in awhile I can get a pedicure and maybe take a cab once or twice a week. HUZZAH. Life is not the blank and desperate thing I was imagining it to be -knock on wood, spit, whatever you do to ward off bad luck-.
current mood: So very relieved
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
|
Monday, September 17th, 2007
|
|
2:31 pm - Thank you Jesus!
|
I have a job interview on Monday with Queens Library. I wish you all to pray for me because I really, really, really do not want to work retail.
current mood: Between Happy and Scared
|
|
(5 comments | comment on this)
|
|
Monday, August 20th, 2007
|
|
12:08 am - This would so happen to me
|
|
|
Thursday, August 2nd, 2007
|
|
4:37 pm - Blasphemy rocks
|
Here's a blasphemous rock song I just wrote off the top of my head.
syducingfate can testify to this.
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned
I lust for you like tonic and gin
Your studly robes drive me insane
If I wasn't a Catholic, wouldn't have sex on the brain
Do me, Father, for Jesus won't mind
He likes to watch all mankind
I hope that's not a problem for you
It's always a threesome when God is in the room
current mood:  crazy
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
|
Tuesday, July 10th, 2007
|
|
10:11 pm - Haute Cuisine
|
|
So I just learned that there's a vodka being sold out there that's laced with caffeine. The perfect culinary marriage of Russian and French cuisine.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
|
Thursday, June 28th, 2007
|
|
10:55 am - Student Loans
|
So now that I've taken my comp exams and found an apartment and scheduled a move, I should probably call and get my student loans consolidated. But where and with whom? Is anyone out there an expert? Is there a company I should avoid at all costs? These are important questions.
current mood:  contemplative
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Tuesday, June 19th, 2007
|
|
12:14 am - Ha!
|
|
|
Saturday, June 16th, 2007
|
|
6:18 pm - My cute new shoes
|
|
|
Tuesday, May 8th, 2007
|
|
1:04 am - Nature is fucked up
|
|
|
