http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021367.html

Boy giving presentation: Guys, shut up! Everybody has to be quiet during my presentation.
Black boy: Man, your people kept my people down for hundreds of years. I ain't being quiet for your presentation!
Boy giving presentation: I'm not white, dude. I'm fucking Greek.

--Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021366.html

11-year-old white kid to friends, in loud whisper: I was so high last night, I don't remember Suzy* saying she liked me.
Nerd friend: You were high last night?
11-year-old white kid: Yeah, I've been high every night this week!
Nerd friend: On what?
11-year-old white kid: Last night coke, night before LSD, night before e, and then weed for two nights before that.
Nerd friend: That's so cool!
Nerd girl near him: Weed? You're such a jackass!

--L Train

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021365.html

Ditz #1: I hate libraries.
Ditz #2: I know, they're so stressful.
Ditz #1: I even hate Barnes & Noble, it's so hard to understand how they organize books in there!

--Eugene Lang College, New School University

Overheard by: Ashamed that I go to this school

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021364.html

Indian girl #1: Man, my roommates are filthy! I am the only one who cleans.
Indian girl #2: Yeah, that's because your roommates are white.
Indian girl #1, widening eyes: Oh. My. God. You're right!
Indian girl #3: Yeah, dude, white people are gross.

--Duane Reade

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021363.html

Puerto Rican guy: Dude, I swear I fucked Oscar the Grouch last night.
Black guy: I don't think we can be friends anymore. You and your Muppet mistresses...

--NYU

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021362.html

NYU boy: What are you guys doing tonight?
NYU girl: We might be going to a frat party in Queens.
NYU boy: There are so many things wrong with that sentence.
NYU girl: You wanna go?
NYU boy: Yeah, sure.

--3rd Ave & 11th St

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021361.html

Hyperactive seven-year-old: Mom! Let me lick your ear! Come here, let me suck it!
Disgusted mother: Boy, I ain't your girl!

--2 Train

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021360.html

White guy to black kid in subway doorway: Don't stop right in the doorway, you punk! Don't yell at me for running into you when you stopped in front of me!
Black kid: Yo, dude, if I were really, really black, I'd kill you right now!

--F Train

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021359.html

Woman: So I brought Elizabeth to New York and she was obsessed with escalators!
Friend: What?
Woman: Yea, every store we went to she had to ride the escalator! She got mad at me if she saw one that I didn't take her on. I had all this stuff planned for her: shopping, a bus tour, a Broadway musical... she just wanted to ride escalators!
Friend: That's hilarious. How old is she?
Woman: Eighteen.

--FIlene's Basement Escalators, Union Square

Overheard by: K Melv

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021358.html

Metro-north conductor: This train has five cars open.
Drunk teenage girl: Your mom has five cars open! Your mom's fellatio lips are open too!
(trio sits in row in front of girl and friend)
Drunk girl: I hate you, don't sit here. We're all going to throw up on you. Why are you still here? No one likes you.
Girl's friend: Why are you so drunk?
Drunk girl: That's something we'll never know.

--Metro-North

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021357.html

(couple enters elevator, making out and groping each other as they enter)
Meathead boyfriend to semi-attractive girlfriend: Are they going to make me sign out and then sign in when we get back?
Semi-attractive girlfriend: I'm not sure, I think probably.
Meathead boyfriend: Well, if it helps keep you safe...
Semi-attractive girlfriend: Speaking of safe, I think I have another stalker. But this time, he's 6'3", 230 pounds, and a fireman.

--Columbia Dorm

Overheard by: Z

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021356.html

50-something ghetto woman: So like when I was younger, I was totally infatuated with my father's brother.
Ghetto friend: Amen!

--Allerton Ave, Bronx

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021355.html

Old man: I know, I know, that man is a crook.
Older Russian man: A crook! I wish him to die.
Old man: Well, I don't wish death on anyone.
Older Russian man: Bah! I wish you to die. (walks off)

--113th & Broadway

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021354.html

Man to son: Ya like that cheesecake?
Son: Uh-huh, it's good.
Man: Go to school, get good grades, get a good job, you can have cheesecake like that whenever you want.

--Dinner near Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: taylor Morgan

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021353.html

Man: I got beat up a lot in high school. It made me a better person.

--College of Staten Island

Overheard by: Incredibly Amused

Little boy: You best lay the smackdown on that hoe!

--Times Square

Student: I don't get why everyone is making such a big deal about Chris Brown hitting Rihanna, it's not like he's the first man to ever hit a girl. Get over it, world!

--Manhattan College, Riverdale, The Bronx

Overheard by: Stephen

Girl on cell outside beauty salon: If I didn't have things to do tonight, I would totally just slap the crap out of that girl. Seriously.

--Brooklyn

Overheard by: maybe tomorrow, then?

Woman on cell: I went through this with my daughter this morning. (pause) Yeah, okay, you can hit me, but you can't hit anybody else.

--Cookshop Restaurant